writing as an adult

Howdy! Ty, here, and I’ll get to the name change again in a moment, but…

It’s to absolutely no one’s surprise that I’ve been gone for like a year. I’d been goin’ too fast for too long, I think, and it finally caught up with me. So I had to take some time to recover from that. And as soon as I did get done recovering from that, I ended up movin’ to New York. So that’s what’s been goin’ on for the past roundabout 6 months.

I’m finally settled and ready to get things goin’ again.

I’m still tryin’ to figure everything out, for sure, but this is as good a starting point as any.

So let me re-introduce myself. My name is Titan, which is why I go by Ty now, and I’ll be writin’ under the pen name Titan H. C. for the remainder of my foreseeable career.

I’ll also be launchin’ the new release the new release of The Soul that I was workin’ on while I was gone. But details on that are yet to follow.

With that in mind, I’m gonna attempt to explain exactly why I decided to republish this story that I’d already published like 4 years ago.

The answer’s really quite simple, actually–it’s just that I was too young the first time that I did it. The current version of The Soul that’s available for purchase has a lot of really old ideas incorporated into it that just remained ingrained in the manuscript as I revised it over and over and over throughout the years. But it is a story that I began when I was like 14 years old, possibly younger.

Let’s just say it doesn’t stand the test of time.

Now that I’m an adult, I’m older and I’m wiser. And I intend on incorporatin’ all the original ideas that I wanted to pursue with this story but for some reason was too timid to include. So basically I’ve revamped The Soul from the ground up.

Now that I’m an adult, and I’m producin’ adult material, I know which messages I want to send with my fiction, and I know which ways that I wanna get those messages across. And so I need my debut novel to reflect those messages. Because this is also a launching pad for me, for a couple of different ideas.

Well, anyway, that’s enough for now. I have one request to make that if you are a writer–particularly if you’re black or your produce LGBTQ content–let’s talk down below because I would really love to connect with more writers. And this is the whole reason for the platform, anyway, right?

I look forward to seein’ what everyone has to say, and I’ll see y’all around again later. Bye!


december 2017: start again

major lifestyle shifts have happened, but i think i am finally at a point where i can start again. i’m taking things slowly and correcting past mistakes made (hopefully not repeating any) in order to move forward with my writing. 

as you’ll notice, i’ve lost all my capital letters. idc. i’ve lost a lot of energy and therefore a lot of time but i have to begin somewhere. 

i’m older now. with a lot of changes to make. this is step one. 

i’ll no longer be writing under the pen name “s. r. carrillo.”

details will follow, if a need should arise. as usual, i aim to document any major developments along the way. 



video: (here)


Earlier this year, I moved back home to Houston. I took a little vacation then finished out my contract with the Army. I got a job and set myself up for school. I read a lot. And I mean a lot.

As fun as a lot of those books were, though, I wasn’t really getting what I wanted out of traditional fiction. Call me queer, but I’m so damn sick of the young white heteronormative narrative. So I ended up delving back into a world I haven’t breached in a long time.


At first, I was really hesitant about it, but I took the nosedive anyway because I was finding in fanfiction what it’s damned near impossible to find in bookstores – variety. All kinds of variety. Prolly in more ways than I can even count. It’s a playground.

But you know what I also found? Some really good writers. Not all, granted, though that is the nature of the beast – published, original, non-fiction, anything. And I don’t mean just like “good for fanfic,” I mean genuinely fucking good – some of it inspiring, even.

So far, nothing so inspiring that it’s ended my months-long writing slump (which I have been mired in since spending all my free time reading and going through my Netflix list), but I’m gonna change that. Soon. I’m close.



Frustration!!!I’m weak. And powerless. (And can’t avoid making song references, even if I wanted to.) If there’s one thing that stresses me out like nothing other, it’s frustration.

It seems weird to me that I am who I am and write the things I do. Sure, I’m a total fucking creeper, but I’m usually pretty happy.

I write really dark, weird stuff, though, and people who know me see that and think, “Really? This is the stuff that’s in your head?”

I’m crazy, okay? Leave me alone. :P

But when I get frustrated and stressed out, I get really frazzled. I’m a mess. And it really shouldn’t come as a surprise then that I’m a little off my rocker. I’m fragile, and I can’t take a lot.

You know what’s been causing me the most stress and frustrating the hell out of me lately?



The Army. The Veterans Affairs. The University of Houston. The government. My job (I work at PetCo as a dog trainer, now!). My own writing. The weather!

How? How does this all manage to pile on top of me like this? Haha I kinda give up. But it’s okay. I realize that there are a lot of baby steps that have to happen before I can get fully settled.

Little by little, I am taking care of these insane stressors – and so pardon my absence. I’m still writing, still making videos, still doing my thing, just keeping some of the personal stuff personal.

Send me hugs or something. ;]

S. R. Carrillo



The beginning of a journey

I’m in California right now.

I drove up from south Texas to Oklahoma, tossed and turned instead of sleeping, drove west to New Mexico (stopped in Roswell, slept in Las Cruces – BEAUTIFULLY fucking town omg), passed through Arizona and now I’m in the ever-mountainous San Diego. My sister was kind enough to put me (and my booski, Bobbi) up until we catch our flight tomorrow.

To Hawaii.

Yeah, seriously. (smile + sweat drop emoji)

I’m considering this trip a well-earned gift to myself for surviving 6 years in the Army. And, boy, what a trip it’s been.

Usually, I would write up a recap post once I returned from my trip, but, since I’ll be gone almost all month long, I didn’t want my blog to sit idle for no reason.

I can’t really write – at least, not in earnest – while I’m away. I need a laptop (mine died – I’m writing this on my phone), but I’m also trying to figure out a budget to acquire a microphone for my camera, a light setup for my videos, another camera (because I’m feeling masochistic, apparently) and new clothes that will fit me.

Oh, yeah – I got a job a few weeks ago (which is why there’s no March wrap-up). I’m gonna be a dog trainer with PetCo. Right now, I’m just another sales associate, but, when I return, I’ll begin my training to get certified.

I’m ultra-excited.

I also have another trip planned to Colorado in June, but that’s a little more tentative. And a concert that I haven’t been to in yeeeeaaaars. (Not sure if my body will be able to handle it, but I wanna, at least, try.)

And that’s my life right now.


Fall in Love, Again

fall in love again As a writer, it’s really easy to fall into a pit of angst and despair. It’s kinda required – we spend a lot of time beating up on ourselves because there are always ways to improve. We tell ourselves:

  • That entire scene made me cringe. The whole time. The whooooole time.
  • Why is this character here? Are they necessary? Are any of these characters necessary? What is the meaning of life?
  • Oh, look, another crappy line of dialogue.
  • Snoooore feeeeest. Need to amp up this action by, like, 100.
  • ???
  • PROFIT!!!

It can get tiring. But, like I said, it’s vital that we know our flaws so we can lessen them.

It’s become a sadistic trend that I despise all my rough drafts. They’re terrible. It gets really bad around that Camp NaNo and NaNoWriMo times because – let’s face it – fast drafting has never produced anything publish-ready.

I can’t count how many times I’ve finished a manuscript, blinked at it for a while and promptly wanted to flip my desk because it sucked so much.

However, after I’ve spent some time away, when I come back to re-read or revise, I usually realize it’s not so bad. Surely, it’s ugly, but it’s not irredeemable. In fact, practically without fail, I fall in love with my own writing all over again.

I can still see its flaws, but I can also see through them – to how I can fix them.

I’m going through this right now with my 11,000th revision of In Silence and Energy: Book Three in the Soul series. It’s a long way from finished, but I get a little closer each day.

And I fall in love all over again with every step I take.

What are you currently working on? :D

S. R. Carrillo