That Whole School Thing

Doubt and Fear Just Ahead Optional Lemme just say: Sometimes, I think I’m kinda dumb.

I wasn’t always, and no one else seems to think so, but I feel like I could be so much smarter than I am if I’d’ve just stayed in school instead lettin’ it fall to the wayside.

Now, in the Army, there are certain qualifications that have to be met, but if you do meet ’em, you can garner Tuition Assistance that, at a fundamental level, essentially pays for anything up to a Bachelor’s degree in college.

The whole reason I joined the Army instead of goin’ to college when I was 17 was because the Army said, “You can go to school and be Army at the same time.” It’s exactly what I wanted to do – what I knew I would do since I was 6 years old.

I’ve been fairly paralyzed at the thought of takin’ college courses ever since then, though.

It’s been 4 years – most of my high school friends have graduated college already and have been successful.

Meanwhile, here I am, thumb-twiddlin’, no closer to a degree than the day I took my oath.

Well, that’s gonna change. I sat in on a brief last week with about 50 other people where a Command Sergeant Major stood up and told us all, “No time will ever be the right time.”

He may as well have been talkin’ to me – I have done nothin’ but wait for a good, calm period of time to settle in and start my schoolin’, but it’s never shown its face.

So, fuck it.

I’m already enrolled in Central Texas College and have CLEPed out of a course (from a few months back when I decided to get off my ass before I got paralyzed and relapsed into my toxic inaction again), but I can’t stop there!

So, here’s to continuing my education.

Pray for me.

I’ll need it.

S. R. Carrillo

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19 comments on “That Whole School Thing

  1. Rachel says:

    Congrats on starting school again! Good luck with it. :-)

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  2. melissabarkersimpson says:

    As Rob said in Waterboy.. (cue accent) “You can do it!”

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  3. Caroline S. says:

    Yay for school! My husband likes to say that I would be a professional student if I could, and I would, I love school. So good luck! And I’m pretty sure writing a book does not count as “thumb-twiddlin’.”

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  4. Congratulations with going back. Never feel dumb! You aren’t :) Clearly you are brave from all you have been doing and you can tackle school! Good luck! Keep us updated.

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  5. Maria says:

    Congratulations :) I love when things fall into place. Think of it this way though-you experienced things in life that no one else did when they were in school. It all works out eventually. :)

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  6. Go you :) keep going keep positive

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  7. This is great to hear! I think you’re gonna be great and enjoy it so much :D

    Good luck with it, though you won’t need it!

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  8. tiffanytcole says:

    Whatever you do, don’t take 4 classes back-to-back with no time for a lunch break, lol. Anyway, congratulations on deciding to go back to school, and remember that it’s what you decide to do with that education that really matters. You know I’ve had an on/off again love/hate relationship with college, but now I truly am passionate about it and have decided to stick with it for three reasons in particular:

    1) So that I can go to a publishing institute, most of which won’t let you in unless you have SOME kind of Bachelor’s Degree.
    2.) So I can take formal college-level English classes. I’m self taught in almost everything. When I was in high school, I took free online college courses from MIT and Yale and created my own curriculum, but there’s still something completely different about being taught by actual professors.
    3.) I love love love the college atmosphere. As a writer, there’s an exciting amount of people watching opportunity, and the clubs and events and study abroad field trips excite me.

    Also, you are perhaps one of the smartest people I know. I have always looked up to you as someone who is intelligent. Since the oooooolllld days of Fictionpress, your opinions of my writing and books have been immensely helpful. Than again, people are always telling me I’m smart, but I also spend a lot of time feeling incredibly dumb.

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    • Haha I definitely won’t be – the good thing about being in my situation is that I have the option to take online classes, which is what I will likely be doing, because I run short on time… a lot… like always. I used to be very smart, but the brain like any other muscle will deteriorate with disuse, y’know!

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  9. Hello Sierra! This is awesome! Congratulations! I hope all is going well for you. You can definitely do this. Don’t let anything or anyone get in the way of you bettering yourself. You deserve this and more. So proud of you! <3

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